Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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