Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
