so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
