Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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