She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Its about making memories worth repressing
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
