Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
