Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
