Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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