I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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