Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I wear drunk well.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
