we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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