Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He's on the porch naked. Help.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
