Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
