dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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