also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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