im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
