I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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