What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
