don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
