doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
