Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Did I show you my penis last night?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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