i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
