i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
