ugly people sure do ruin things
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
