Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
