dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
