Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i black out too much to be "responsible"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
