I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you inspire me to be a worse person
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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