Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
