You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
