So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
do nipples grow back?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
