an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
