So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
