I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
