He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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