I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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