um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
ttyl tear gas
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am available for nakedness
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
