I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
don't judge my taste in strippers
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
