i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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