i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
