Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
