That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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