His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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