I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
