last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Send help, water and tortillas.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
