friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
