He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
