Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
