now i know why i became what i already was.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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