Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Randomize
